Is a Wedding Cash Fund for Gifts Tacky?

Wedding cash funds are becoming more popular. But is gifting cash or asking for cash as a wedding gift tacky?

More and more, couples are turning to a “honeyfund” or requesting cash gifts for their honeymoon or a house payment rather than traditional household items. Proper etiquette followers will tell you asking for cash is a big no. They’ll argue that it’s almost like you’re begging for money! But times are changing and cash gifts are becoming a more common practice.

The majority of our registry requests cash, so here are three reasons why I think cash funds for wedding gifts (or any type of occasion) are not tacky.

1. Wedding traditions are changing.

Wedding gifts originated from the tradition of dowries, which were given to the bride’s family in exchange for the bride. This evolved to gifting the bride a few items she would need as a new wife. The modern wedding registry was created by a department store in 1924. #commercialization While some still include things like casserole dishes, others may add things like houseplants or a rug.

Gifting cash is already a part of Chinese tradition. Red envelopes are kept on hand so that when the occasion calls, they easily slip some cash in and voila, they have a gift! Red envelopes, which also symbolize luck, are a typical Chinese wedding gift. It’s my family’s go-to gift for birthdays and Christmas too.

2. We’re older and minimalist.

Wedding traditions are evolving because many couples are getting married later in life. If we were straight out of college, I could see us needing the basics to build our first home together. My fiancé and I are in our thirties, so we’ve had time and money to find the home furnishings and appliances we need and want. We’re also pretty minimalist, so we try to avoid extras of most things and not replace things unless it’s absolutely necessary.

A wedding cash fund allows couples to use the gift how they need, either by paying for their honeymoon, putting it towards a house payment, or saving for future kids. Gifting the opportunity to go on dates or save for a future luxury or emergency makes more sense than a kitchen appliance that will go unused.

If there are unique and personalized gifts, like an heirloom, I understand why gifting a physical item is meaningful. But if it’s a nice yet random thing you picked up on sale (see my mom’s gift closet) and you’re gifting it so that you’re not empty-handed, count me out! I would rather receive a $2 greeting card with a hand-written heartfelt message.

3. Websites are making it less awkward and more fun.

Since I knew our registry would be mostly a cash fund, I looked into companies that would allow this option and have the lowest fees to do so. Zola takes the lowest percentage (currently 2.5%) of the cash gifts guests give through the website. Zola also has over 50,000 items in their registry database (sort of like if you had an Amazon registry), so we added a few physical items too. The registry interface makes the cash fund items stand out less and gives us space to explain what they are and why we want them. Our registry is focused on funding our honeymoon to Indonesia (scuba diving, food tours, flights, etc.) and activities for when we’re back to normal life in Austin (massages, dates).

Conclusion

Some people might argue that cash is impersonal and I can understand how that feels because it is. But with gift-giving, my practical sense is strongest and I would rather gift something I absolutely know will be useful. Cash is still king and I think a guest’s presence at a wedding should be more meaningful than what gift they bring.

You’ll hear me say this a lot in my wedding posts: it’s YOUR wedding so do what you want. Choose your battles and do what feels right for you.