Everyone’s wedding is different. Ours was in-between formal and casual. We wanted our wedding to be comfortable but we also wanted it to be a special, semi-formal occasion. Because of that, we had set guest count deadlines and seating charts, which made things a little less flexible. We were also thankful to have a day-of coordinator that handled everything on our wedding day, giving us more freedom to enjoy the day! (It’s one of my must-have things!)

From planning our wedding, I learned so much that will make me an excellent guest in the future! I didn’t realize a wedding guest could prevent some of the stresses and help the bride and groom out so much. So, I’ve gathered eight tips from our experience as bride and groom, my experience as a wedding guest, and recommendations from other people to help you be a better wedding guest!

1. Send in your RSVP on time.

Our biggest stress of wedding planning was getting the final guest count and chasing RSVPs. The final guest count is required at least two weeks before the wedding by multiple vendors for food preparation and final bills. This is also needed for event set-up and seating charts. Be responsible and send in your RSVP ASAP or at least by the noted deadline! If you lose your invite or can’t figure out the wedding website, send a text or call with your RSVP before the deadline. Any communication to let the bride and groom know is helpful! Otherwise, they will be contacting you for confirmation.

2. Don’t bring an uninvited plus one.

Yes, having a plus one makes it less awkward for you as a guest, but don’t assume you have a plus one. Make sure your wedding invitation says “and guest” or ask the bride and groom. This goes for bringing your kids also. Bringing someone unexpected on the day can throw off seating charts, food quantity, and more. If you’re not sure if you get a plus one, ask!

3. Tell the bride/groom about an RSVP change ASAP.

If your RSVP changes (i.e. you or your plus one can no longer come or you’re bringing a different plus one), tell the bride and groom directly ASAP! One guest got a new boyfriend after she sent in her date’s name, and we almost printed the wrong name on the seating chart, which would have been awkward. Understandably, last-minute emergencies happen, but contact the bride and/or groom directly. I’m baffled by guests who RSVPed yes but never showed up and who we haven’t heard from!

4. Give a thoughtful gift.

It’s a special time in a bride and groom’s life. Even if they request money as a gift (cash funds aren’t tacky!), a thoughtfully written card means so much. We loved reading all of our cards together the morning after the wedding.

Weddings are expensive (as this wedding budget post shows), and I immediately want to go back and give more appropriate gifts! While a bride and groom don’t plan to “make back” what they spent, being invited to a wedding is a gracious and love-filled gesture. Wedding websites say the average range for a wedding gift is $50-150 per person, depending on how well you know the person. Close friends and family typically give $100-200 per person.

If the couple has a bridal or couples shower before the wedding, etiquette says you should bring a gift to both events. I had no clue! In this case, take the total amount you want to spend and give 40% for the shower gift and 60% for the wedding gift.

Sticking to the registry is highly recommended, though we received some thoughtful, personal items we love. Two of the unexpected, off-registry gifts we got were a wood lazy susan with our last name branded on it and a handmade quilt.

5. Wear the Suggested Attire.

Wedding formality differs from casual attire on the beach to formal ballgowns. The attire is usually stated on the wedding invite or website. Ultimately, the bride and groom want you to be comfortable, which is why they tell you what to wear! We knew it might be hot during our ceremony, so we let our guests know it would be outside and to wear cooler fabrics. Do not wear white or try to upstage the bride with your outfit!

6. Do not contact the bride or groom on the wedding day before the ceremony.

This is more for your sake than theirs. Chances are, the bride and groom are not looking at their phones regularly, so you’ll get a delayed or no response. They may also be stressed and taking care of last-minute tasks, and you don’t want to make them feel more stressed. Make sure you have the venue and wedding details days in advance! Don’t let them know you’ll be late.

Send wishes, photos, or a fun anecdote from the event when you get home or the morning after. From my experience, it was fun to read through all the messages the next morning. How else would I have known that one of our friends disappeared from the venue and came back with dumplings for his table? We were also excitedly awaiting photos from our photographer so photos to hold us over were appreciated!

7. Arrive early.

Do not be that person walking in as the bride is about to make her entrance! Arrive at least 10 minutes before the time on the invitation. While wedding schedules have extra time built in, make everything less stressful by not being late. If you are late, enter slowly and look for an usher or wedding planner to guide you to the right place at the right time.

8. Don’t be afraid to approach the bride and groom.

Yes, everyone wants their attention, but they also want to give you theirs. It’s a joyous day exploding with so much love, and it’s also a whirlwind. It’s meaningful to get at least a few minutes to say hello. I wish we had gotten to chat with every guest, and I hate looking at our photos and thinking hmm, I never met this friend of Will’s or remembering seeing friends in the crowd but never getting to talk to them.

The moments I remember and love are when friends came up to us during dinner and on the dance floor. Since we had a wedding coordinator, I think we had fewer responsibilities and more time to spare. Taking pictures with the bride and groom is great too, especially when you send them later. We couldn’t wait to see moments from our best day!

Conclusion

Celebrating with our friends and family was the second best part of our wedding day! We could have done without some of the stresses, but we really had it easy when it came to planning and the day of.

Do you have any wedding guest tips? Share them below!

P.S. To see the details of our wedding day, check out this post or see the tag for all my wedding posts.

Let’s take this adventure on the go. You can find me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Bloglovin’. You can also subscribe to the exclusive email list.

The post Eight Things You Need to Do as a Wedding Guest appeared first on Fearless Captivations.

Disclosure: Basic Invite provided complimentary custom cards. All opinions are my own. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Fearless Captivations!

As a lover of snail mail, it was important to me to send out thank you cards after our wedding. This was especially important since we didn’t get to talk to everyone on our wedding day and some people weren’t able to make it.

During our ceremony, we shared these lines:

“We come together not to mark the start of a relationship but to acknowledge and strengthen a bond that already exists. This ceremony is a public affirmation of that bond and as their dearest family and friends, it is our honor and privilege to stand witness to this event. This day is made possible not only because of your love for each other but through the grace and support of your family and friends.”

Will and I included some of our favorite things on our wedding day, but the best part was celebrating with our friends and family. We couldn’t have done it (and wouldn’t have thrown a wedding) without all of the special people in our lives.

One of the best things about our wedding was seeing so many of our favorite people in one place. They traveled from different countries, states, and cities. They came to fill our day with love and celebrate this big commitment we were making to each other.

We’ve been excited to share photos from our special day and adding them to our thank you cards was a fun way to do it. I chose the photo strips design because of my love of photo booths and to share multiple photos from the day. I also like the simple, single photo card for guests who simply want that fridge photo.

I partnered with Basic Invite to create our thank you cards. Basic Invite’s website was easy to use in making them. Their options for colors, paper type, and fonts allowed me to customize every detail of the card. They also include complimentary envelopes with peel and stick sealing and addressing to make the process so much easier! If you want a consistent wedding suite from invite to thank you, you can customize their templates.

Thank you, Basic Invite, for these beautiful cards! If you’re looking for custom cards, including holiday cards, they offer a wide selection of cards for all occasions.

Have you ever made custom cards? What were they for?

P.S. See all my wedding posts here!

Let’s take this adventure on the go. You can find me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Bloglovin’. You can also subscribe to the exclusive email list.

The post Our Custom Wedding Thank You Cards appeared first on Fearless Captivations.

Wedding budget is a necessary phrase and hopefully one you’ll continuously come back to as you plan your wedding. My eyes were bulging and I started stressing when I first started wedding planning because of costs. I couldn’t believe weddings cost so much!

I’m hoping this post will calm your initial overwhelm of how much money you will spend on your wedding. It’ll also give you a good starting point and help you decide where to budget and what to spend money on.

(A little background for reference – we live in Austin and got married in Georgetown in September 2019. We were engaged for almost a year. We had 150 people at our wedding and we planned all of it ourselves.)

How Much Does a Wedding Cost?  

Planning a wedding is not only a daunting task but it can also be a costly event. Research shows an average wedding in the U.S. costs $30,000-40,000 in the last two years, and an average wedding in Austin, TX costs $35,000. That’s a down payment on a house! That’s tuition for four years at an in-state college! That’s six really nice vacations for a couple! Basically, weddings can be very expensive.

One of the reasons why a wedding is so expensive is because people feel like they need to adhere to wedding traditions and match how others have done their wedding. Remember, this is YOUR wedding and you get to decide what to include, especially if you’re paying for it!

A wedding costs as much as your preferences will allow. It’s also about how generous you can or want to be. If you need to decrease costs, sometimes that means letting go of or changing some expectations of what you had envisioned. It doesn’t mean your day will be any less special. (This is what makes your wedding special.)

In my wedding planning post, I talked about the different kinds of weddings you could have. This budget post applies to the “typical” wedding, the whole party.

The Biggest Way to Decrease Your Wedding Costs

The first and easiest way to decrease your wedding costs to meet your budget is to shorten your guest list. Decide your number and stick to it!
When you keep your wedding small, about 50-100 people, your overall price per person decreases. Your biggest costs will be venue and catering (food/drink). A smaller guest count will mean a smaller, less expensive venue. It would also mean decreased food and drink costs.

You’ll likely have a long list if you invite every person that means anything to you. Everyone’s reasoning for inviting a person will differ, but if you want to make a big impact on your wedding budget, your guest list is key.

Pick Three Important Things

The advice I got and agree with is to pick three things that are most important to you and plan your budget around these things. For us, we wanted a beautiful venue, good food, and a great photographer. (Ok, I had four – I already knew which bakery I wanted for our cake.) Everything else – the music, attire, flowers, etc. – was flexible and we were willing to book a more affordable vendor.

Quick Wedding Budget Tips to Save Money

I go into more detail below on how to save money for each vendor, but here are some general tips to start.

• Plan a longer engagement to save money.
• DIY – Do your own invitations, hair, make-up, flowers, decorations, favors, cake, etc. (This is doable if you have lots of trustworthy friends and family willing to help.)
• Friends and Family Rate – Find friends who are willing to provide a discounted rate.
• Don’t do it. No one says you have to do things a specific way.
• Keep your bachelor and bachelorette party local. (I did mine in San Antonio.)
• Have fewer bridesmaids and groomsmen. This applies if you will be paying for outfits, gifts, etc.
• Plan a more affordable honeymoon or delay your honeymoon.
• Review every cost in a vendor contract and decide if added items are necessary.
• Join local bride groups on Facebook to gather vendor info, get tips, and buy gently used items. You’ll find more affordable vendors and vendor reviews here.
• Hire vendors who are new to the business. You may find gems that are much more affordable, though be sure to research them so that you know you are getting the quality you want.
• Follow your preferred vendors and look for special packages due to an opening.

What Goes Into a Wedding Budget + Ways to Save on Your Wedding

I didn’t have a great guide to know what an average amount to expect for each vendor, so I’m hoping this will help you. Below I explain what each vendor typically provides, our thinking in what we spent, and a price range from Austin vendors. As I was researching vendors in my budget, I found that WeddingWire helped with giving a base point.

Venue

Austin is an expensive market to get married in! We wanted a beautiful, modern, and intimate space that would fit our guest count, had outdoor space, and at the time, we were also looking for a place that could fit a band. We looked at venues in the Hill Country around Dripping Springs but these ended up being too expensive. One venue we really liked was $9,000 and included very little. Our date was also a UT home football game, so we were worried about traffic and that hotels downtown would have high rates for our guests. Georgetown is about 25 minutes from where we live, so it was a convenient option for us.

Hotels usually waive the venue rental fee if you meet a food and beverage minimum. For example, we considered one hotel and it was about $3,000 less than what we paid for our venue, food, and bar. For us, hotels had a conference center feel, but if you can get past that, getting married at a hotel is convenient and could be cost-effective.  

Venue pricing: $1,500-9,000+

Ways to save:

• Find a free venue. In Austin, check out Chapel Dulcinea or ask a friend with a big, spacious backyard.
• Find non-traditional venues like these beautiful, spacious homes on Venues & Vows.
• Get married at a big restaurant with event space like The Oasis.
• Get married in a low demand month like July, August, December, and January. (These months are great for indoor weddings.)
• Get married on a Friday night or Sunday morning.

Catering/Bar

One of the lengthiest vendor decisions was choosing our catering company. Our venue required a full-service catering company that would be present throughout the dinner and until the end of the event. We had a complimentary tasting and other companies we considered had a tasting fee that could be discounted from your total after you booked.

For food, we had three appetizers (cocktail reception), salad, two entree options, two sides, rolls, wedding cake, and mini pies tarts. They were served buffets and other options include self-served buffets or plated dinners.

Some catering companies include bar services. A bar package typically includes glassware, alcohol, mixers, a bartender or two, and iced water and tea. For us, it was much easier to have a bartending service (ours was part of the catering company) that took care of bringing all the supplies. Otherwise, hire a licensed and insured bartender for $20-40 an hour and buy your own alcohol and mixers.

Catering pricing: $10-100 per person (per plate)
Bar pricing: $10-20 per person

Ways to save:

• Have a restaurant cater your wedding. Think your favorite pizza place or foods that would be great for buffets like barbecue.
• Choose one entrée option instead of having a choice of two or more.
• Nix the appetizers for your cocktail hour or nix the cocktail hour altogether.
• Serve only beer and wine instead of a full bar.
• Use disposables instead of china for your meal.
• Buy your own alcohol (wait for a liquor store sale) and hire your own bartender instead of hiring the service through the catering company.
• See if the company can decrease the number of servers.

Photography and Photo Booth

Another important vendor for us was the photographer. Of course, we wanted someone who was incredibly talented to document our special day since these photos would be the primary way we would look back on it. We also added an engagement session to our package because we wanted photos before the wedding and it’s a good time to get to know your photographer.

Many wedding photography packages include eight hours of shooting. This allows for a 3 pm arrival as you’re finishing up hair and makeup and an 11 pm departure for your exit. Some photographers may include a number of photos they’ll deliver or a physical photo book in their packages.
We also decided to have a photo booth at our wedding. They’re a fun activity for guests and the photo strips can be a party favor for guests.

Photographer pricing: $1,500-3,500
Photo booth pricing: $400-1,000

Ways to save:

• Decrease the time your photographer is present (if it’s an option). Your photographer could get a few fun shots of the dance floor when it starts but he/she doesn’t need to be there the whole time. This would work if you don’t want exit shots.
• Don’t have a second shooter. Your photographer can typically get all the shots you want unless you have a big guest list.
• Don’t include an engagement session in your package.
• Don’t have a photo booth.
• Make your own photo booth by setting up your own nice camera in front of a backdrop and provide guests a remote to take the photos.

Flowers

This was the last vendor I booked, about three months before the wedding! I had considered two other companies but they got booked as I was trying to decide who to use. I knew what types of flowers I wanted but the exact flowers (ranunculus and juliet roses) were a bit pricey. The order was big but the flowers weren’t big arrangements. In the end, we got bouquets, boutonnieres, corsages, and reception centerpieces with vases.

Total flowers pricing: $500-3,000+
Bridal bouquet: $50-200+
Bridesmaid bouquet: $35-100+
Boutonnieres: $5-20+
Corsages: $10-30+
Centerpieces: $30-65+

Ways to save:

• Make your own bouquets and centerpieces by buying flowers from a warehouse store like Costco.
• Make your own and use faux flowers, like silk or paper. Buy the flowers at a craft store.
• Ask your grocery store’s floral department for a quote. (We went with Central Market and loved the flowers!)
• Pick less expensive types of flowers or smaller arrangements.
• Share wedding flowers through Bloomerent.

Cake and Dessert

I just came for the cake. Of course, this was one of my favorite parts. We didn’t want any specific flavors for the cake, and we ended up choosing strawberries and cream (my favorite). Will’s favorite dessert is cherry pie, so I knew we would have pie as the groom’s cake. The groom’s cake is a Southern tradition. It’s typically a fun shape and depicts a groom’s passion or hobby. For example, in Austin, you’ll see the Longhorn logo, the UT tower, or even the stadium in cake form. Our mini pies were a part of our catering package but we also considered buying whole pies from a local shop.

Cake for 50-100 people is typically three tiers. If you are having a groom’s cake, it’s typically recommended to have enough for half the guest count, since many will choose only one dessert. Know what your guest like and plan accordingly. Many of our guests didn’t eat cake (I know, what??) and we had a lot left over!

Cake pricing: $2-10 per slice

Ways to save:

• Fake your cake. Buy a cake for show, which means the top layer would be real but the other layers are frosted cardboard. After you cut the cake, it is taken to the back “to cut.” Buy sheet cake from a grocery store and slice and serve that instead.
• Get your cake from your grocery store. Order custom or pick up several decorated cakes.
• Order/buy a small cake along with a bunch of cupcakes. (Use a tiered stand for display.) This could save on plating and the cupcakes might be cheaper.
• Buy a small cake along with a different kind of dessert. Pies or donuts could be cheaper.
• Don’t have a groom’s cake.

Dress/Bride Attire

I didn’t feel stressed about wedding planning until it was time to get my dress. Weddings are so much about what the bride looks like, and I’m not one for being the center of attention. I also did not want to spend a crazy amount on a dress I would be wearing for a few hours. There are A LOT of pretty dresses out there.

You also need to factor in pricing for alterations. I got my alterations done where I bought my dress, and they let me know the estimate for alterations before I bought the dress (though it ended up being slightly higher than estimated). You can get the right fit for size around the waist but you’ll likely need your dress hemmed for height (where are my fellow short people?!) and to add a bustle if you have a train. Since my dress had several layers, my alterations price quickly went up.

I didn’t have a veil or special underwear, but I did get a $6 garter. I also spent money on pre-wedding outfits like my engagement photo dress and rehearsal outfit. Don’t forget the cost of shoes and jewelry.

Dress Pricing: $200-$2,000+
Alterations Pricing: $300-800

Ways to Save:

• Stick to your budget and don’t get tempted by all the pretty dresses. Don’t forget to add alteration fees to your budget.
• Buy your dress online. I stalked BHLDN‘s sale section and saw dresses as low as $200.
• Buy a used dress. Try Nearly Newlywed, Still White, or local Facebook groups.
• Rent a dress that could pass as a wedding dress. Take a look at Rent the Runway.

Suit/Groom Attire

We looked at The Black Tux and Men’s Warehouse. The Black Tux will deliver suits to your door after you give them your measurements. It ended up being about $200 per suit at The Black Tux while Men’s Warehouse had limited selections for style and color and additional pricing for alterations. Our experience with The Black Tux was great. The one issue we had was they have a limit on how big their sizes go.

Suit Pricing: $150-400

Ways to save:

• Pick a more common suit color like black, gray, or navy.
• Pick a less formal outfit, such as khaki pants and a solid color button-up shirt.

Ceremony and Reception Music

Will really wanted a band, and sometimes I wish we had moved our budget around to make it happen. It easily would have been one of the top five most expensive vendors on our list. In the end, other vendor priorities won out and a DJ ended up being what made sense for the budget. Plus, the DJ also took care of our ceremony music, was the emcee for the night, and brought dance floor lighting, whereas we would have had to hire additional people to take care of those items.

Band Pricing: $2,500-5,000+
DJ Pricing: $200-1,500+

Ways to save: 

• Pick a band with fewer musicians, i.e. a five-piece instead of a 10-piece.
• Hire a DJ instead of a band.
• Plug in a phone with your own curated Spotify playlist. Just be sure you have a paid account so no ads play!
• Call on a friend or family member to be your emcee for the night.
• Hire students from a local high school orchestra (call schools or the community orchestra for recommendations) as your ceremony’s string quartet.

Videography

We didn’t hire a videographer. I had some people telling me they rarely watch their videos and others telling me they watch them all the time! I trusted our wonderful photographer to get all the shots we wanted and encouraged guests to take and send me videos (they didn’t). I also had a guest (significant other of one of my bridesmaids, so she was graciously open to helping out) set up my camera and tripod to record our ceremony and she ended up getting video of some other moments, like the speeches. I love professional wedding videos, but in the long run, having these videos did just fine for me. I’m so glad we have them though!

Videography Pricing: $1,000-3,500+

Ways to save:

• Set up cameras in prime spots and ask specific guests to move them if necessary.
• Ask guests to take and send you videos. (Not a sound-proof plan if you’re counting on these videos though!)

Invitations and Other Papers

The invitation is the first impression of your wedding. Some people get very serious and have matching themes from start to finish. I realized quickly that I cared less about the invitations than I thought I would because of the cost. We ended up doing a free email save-the-date through Paperless Post. Our printed invites designed on Vistaprint were about $75 instead of the $200 we would have spent on Minted. Through a blog partnership, I sent these photo thank-you notes. Don’t forget the cost of postage!

Custom designs by a graphic designer or hand-calligraphy on envelopes will cost more but it could be a fun way to add personality to your wedding. This service is typically a package cost. On online invitation websites, there are set prices per invitation.

We didn’t do wedding programs and opted for the program in a frame on the welcome table. There are many signage templates on Etsy.

Ways to save: 

• Use an online print company instead of a local stationery shop.
• Send digital save the dates and invitations.
• Carefully check what you’re choosing when you pick your invitations. Adding things like text on the back of your invitation or a return address printed on your envelope could cost extra. 
• Cut down on the amount of paper by utilizing the backside of your invitation instead of including a separate sheet of paper.
• Direct guests to RSVP online instead of including an RSVP card.
• Buy generic thank you cards instead of custom cards with your name and photo.
• Buy Forever stamps as soon as possible. The price per stamp usually goes up at the beginning of the year. Depending on which you’ll send, you may need postage for the save-the-date, invitation, rehearsal dinner invite, and thank you card. As of 2023, the Forever stamp costs 63 cents.

Favors

I used to love wedding favors because they’re a sweet memento but how many personalized party favors do you want? You’re already buying your guests dinner and a party, so I don’t think you need to give a parting gift. If it’s really important to you, party favors are a thoughtful gesture. I recommend not giving something cheesy with your name and wedding date on it. Something edible is nice. 

We actually ended up buying wood fans (50 for $30) at the last minute because the weather was going to be hotter than we hoped and the ceremony was outside.

Ways to save:

• Don’t do it. How about some awesome memories as your party favor?
• Have your photobooth strip double as a party favor.
• Display sweets and snacks in bulk for guests to customize their own goodie bags. Items can be different types of candy or popcorn.
• Make your own edible party favors, such as cookies or candy.

Officiant

I’ve always imagined my wedding officiant as someone I know. It seemed impersonal to me to hire someone, even if we got to know them, to perform this important part of the day. So as I was making a list of possible friends, Will suggested his dad, who used to be a pastor. We put together a script for him, and while the ceremony ended up being very short, we included everything we wanted to say.

Officiant Pricing: $120-500

Ways to save:

• Ask someone you know. Getting ordained online costs $10 and example scripts are available online.

Jewelry

For day-of jewelry, I borrowed earrings from one of my bridesmaids and a friend gave me some hair decor she didn’t use for her wedding. Will and I went back to where he got the engagement ring to buy our wedding bands. We also got silicon rings from Enso to wear on vacation and when we’re out being active.

Ways to save:

• Research when your preferred jewelry store has its annual sale to buy your wedding bands.

Beauty

I knew I would need help with hair and makeup on the wedding day and I didn’t want to put pressure on anyone I knew to do it for me. I also wanted to do it at the venue instead of running around before the wedding. For nails, I got them done the day before the wedding at a nail salon. If you’re flexible with your time, you can save money in this area!

Hair Pricing: $100-140 for the bride; $90-120 for the wedding party
Makeup Pricing: $90-120 for the bride; $80-100 for the wedding party

Ways to save:

• Have your savviest friends who are good at hair, makeup, and nails do it for you.
• Get your hair done at a blow-dry bar. Try DryBar ($90 for an updo) or BLO ($65-90 for an updo) in Austin.
• Get your make-up done at Sephora (free with a $50 purchase), BLO ($50-60 for a full face without lashes), or another make-up bar.

Rentals and Decorations

For rentals, I considered renting an altar, reception table linens, and candlesticks. Instead, we bought table runners, candles, and table numbers for the reception tables. We also bought picture frames and printed some engagement photos for the welcome table.

Ways to save:

• Pick a venue that needs little decor to dress up or one that includes a decor package.
• Check Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace for gently used items.
• Check craft stores and Etsy for decor options.

Planning

Our venue required a wedding coordinator on the day of, but in the end, I’m glad we hired one. It’s one of my wedding must-haves. I didn’t want to burden one of my guests with this task and our coordinator had all the knowledge to make sure everything went as planned. From vendor coordination to keeping us on schedule, our coordinator (shout-out Simply Sweet Weddings) had all the ducks in a row, as if I had cloned myself. See this blog post for all the wedding planning tips.

Planner Pricing: $600-6,000

Ways to save:

• If you’re savvy with planning, ask a very responsible friend who has planned a wedding to be your day-of coordinator.
• Hire a day-of coordinator instead of a full wedding planner.
• If you need help with planning, ask friends and family if they can help and assign certain areas for them to bring ideas and gather vendor quotes.

Tips

What we didn’t know to budget was over $1,000 in tips! While tips are not required, they are certainly appreciated.

• Wedding planner: 10-20%, 50-150 for assistant
• Hair/makeup: 15-25%
• Catering: 15-20% of the bill or $10-50 per server, $200-500 per banquet manager, and $50-100 per chef
• Bar: 10-20% of the tab
• Band/Musician: $15-50 per musician
• Officiant: $50-100 or donation to the church
• DJ: 10-15%
• Photographer/videographer: $50-200
• Valet: $1-2 per car
• Delivery/rental: $10-20 per person

Don’t Forget to Include These Wedding Costs

• Any wedding festivities like a bachelor or bachelorette party
• Marriage license (about $81 in Austin, TX)
• Sound system during the ceremony
• Lights for the dance floor
• Hotel room for your wedding night. I personally think it’s special to spend your wedding night in a hotel. Try to stay near your venue or wherever the majority of your guests are staying.
• Breakfast and lunch for the wedding party on the day of
• Gifts for parents
• Gifts for wedding party
• Getaway car
• Last-minute snafus like if you run out of alcohol and need to get more

Our Wedding Budget

How much did we spend on our wedding? We spent less than the average, though the cost of our Indonesian honeymoon made up for that savings. Our parents helped us out tremendously, and we are so grateful for their generosity!

Here’s the breakdown of what we spent our money on (thanks to WeddingWire’s budget tool).

Easily taking up more than half of our budget, our top four most expensive items were catering (40%), venue (19%), photography (12%), and attire (5%).

Now that our wedding is over, what do I wish I had not spent money on? We paid extra for unlimited photobooth strips, but I don’t think anyone got more than two strips.

People don’t talk about how expensive weddings are because having a wedding is a choice and as you can see from this post, there are many ways the cost can vary. We talked about eloping or having a destination wedding in Mexico to decrease the costs but ultimately, we knew we wanted to celebrate with all our family and friends. Not having our wedding in Texas would make that difficult. So, we had to accept that our wedding would be an incredible investment against our usual frugal natures, a gift to our friends and family, and the result would be a very special, unforgettable day.

We also wanted to be realistic about what we were capable of doing. This meant not doing it all ourselves and paying for extra expenses because we didn’t want anyone to stress about it. While money doesn’t buy love and happiness, we also wanted to show our friends and family how much they mean to us.

Conclusion

If you’ve made it to the end, KUDOS to you. This was a whopper of a post, but I hope it is valuable to you as you plan your wedding. There are ways to have a wedding that is uniquely yours without breaking your budget!

Looking for more wedding posts?

• If you’re curious about our vendors, I’ve listed them in this post.
• If you’re looking for more wedding planning tips, see this BIG wedding planning post.
• We had some fun Chinese wedding traditions on our special day!
• This FAQ post is also helpful for all the wedding things you might be wondering.
• Planning an Austin bachelorette party? This is the guide you need!
• Are cash funds tacky for wedding gifts?

Have any tips for saving money on a wedding or stories about wedding budgets to share? Please comment below!

P.S. With all the money we saved, we used it on our honeymoon in Indonesia! See our honeymoon posts here.

All photos are by April Mae Creative!

Follow the adventures on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Bloglovin’. You can also subscribe to the exclusive email list.

The post Everything You Need to Know About a Wedding Budget + Ways to Save appeared first on Fearless Captivations.

I learned so much by going through the wedding planning process and I wish I had a guide like this to help me. Think of this post as a low-key wedding planner and feel free to message me if you have questions!

Must-Read Tips Before You Start Planning

1. Plan Early and Get Help
Wedding planning takes a lot of time and energy. There are a hundred decisions and it can be hard to stick to your budget. Allow yourself plenty of time to plan and recruit help from your fiancé, wedding planner, or wedding party to make the experience more enjoyable.

2. Watch Your Budget
As you start looking at all the costs, you’ll likely find that a wedding costs more than you think it would. Pick the things (some say top three) that are must-haves and work your budget around having these things. Costs can quickly add up if you say yes to everything you want. Stay tuned for my big post all about wedding budgeting.

3. You Do You
Who do you need to please? Ideally, the only people you need to please are you and your fiancé, so everything will be your preference. You get the final say! There will be a million choices. If your family members are financially contributing to your wedding, they might feel and you might want to give them preferences. Decide ahead of time what that will look like. Also, if your family has traditions they want you to uphold, get them to tell you as early as possible. (i.e. my family’s Chinese traditions) In the end, you can’t please everyone and ultimately, it’s your wedding, so your desires should take precedence.

4. Remember why you’re getting married
Your wedding is a celebration of this big decision you have made. It’s a gracious party you and/or your parents are throwing for the people in your life. It shouldn’t be more important than your future together. In the long run, your marriage is what matters most. Don’t let the details and stress get in the way.

What Kind of Wedding Do You Want?

First, decide what kind of wedding you’ll have. It depends on what you and your fiancé prefer and how much you want to spend.

• Elopement – The two of you will go to a courthouse or special location, usually a public place like a beach or park, with an officiant and have an ultra-private ceremony. Ta-da, you’re married! To make this happen, you’ll likely pay for your outfits, travel costs, and your officiant. For tips on eloping in Austin, check out this website.

• Non-Traditional Wedding Reception – This is usually added to an elopement, either right after the ceremony or after you come back from a destination elopement. You could host a nice lunch or dinner at a restaurant or have an informal gathering at a bar that has food trucks.

• Destination Wedding – It might be cheaper to host your wedding in a different state or country. Research told me Arkansas is the cheapest state to get married in and will cost about $19,500. Take your wedding to a beach resort in Mexico and get their all-inclusive wedding package (includes venue, catering, photographer, and more) for about $7,000. It could also be as low-key as getting married at a courthouse (San Francisco’s beautiful building is a popular destination) and enjoying a meal with guests afterward. Las Vegas weddings are also popular. Destination weddings are typically cheaper because fewer guests can make it and in foreign countries, your dollar can go further.

• Typical Wedding – This is the whole event that you think of when it comes to a “traditional” wedding. It comes with a ceremony and a reception with food, drinks, and a DJ or band. There are certainly ways to save money and stay on budget if this is the type of wedding you want to have.

How long does wedding planning take?

It depends on how many vendors you need to book and as fast or slow you make decisions. If you’re planning the wedding by yourself (without a wedding planner), I think you need at least three months. If you’re planning short-term, you should take the availability of vendors into consideration, since popular vendors could be full a year out!

Many couples take about a year or more, especially if saving money to fund the wedding is necessary.

Here’s the order you should book your vendors and accomplish tasks:

• Planner (if you’re only having a day-of coordinator, you can hire this person about six months out)
• Venue (important to secure your date!)
• Catering/Bar
• Photography and Photo Booth
• Videography
• Ceremony and Reception Music
• Dress/Suit/Tux
• Invitations, Etc.
• Officiant
• Hair and Makeup
• Rentals

What are the best wedding planning tools?

Remember when wedding magazines were THE place to go for ideas? They are still a good idea, but those magazines usually have much more content on their websites. Don’t forget Pinterest and Instagram. Having examples of the look and style you want is helpful for vendors (like your florist and makeup person) to know what you like. Local bride and wedding planning Facebook groups and Wedding Wire’s community forum are helpful to get ideas and suggestions.

For me, Wedding Wire was crucial for the vendor research and Zola was great for compiling guest information and making a registry. I talk more about those two resources in this post.

My friend Ashley also gifted me with a wedding planner from Erin Condren that was fun and helpful. I liked the checklist and the calendar pages. This was also perfect for keeping all my meeting notes and gift lists in one place.

Find a checklist you like – a wedding website or physical planner – and review it often, at least monthly.

Wedding Planning Process

The following info is for people who want to plan their own wedding. If you hire a wedding planner, they will do all of this for you, from presenting the top three choices of vendors to making sure the vendor delivers on your wedding day. If you hire a day-of coordinator, you’ll be planning your wedding and handing all the information to the person who will make sure everything goes as planned on your wedding day.

1. Gather info. Think about your style and how you envision your wedding day. Pick vendors with services you prefer and in your price range. You’ll likely be doing a lot of online research and you should also ask friends if they have any recommendations.

2. Narrow down your choices. For example, I looked at a photographer’s website and Instagram to get a feel for their style and artistic eye. Are they within your budget? Also, read reviews on wedding websites.

3. Ask for a quote. Through email, you can also gauge their responsiveness and enthusiasm to see if they’re a good fit for you.

4. Meet in person. Walking a venue is a must! For a few of my vendors (photographer and day-of coordinator), it was important to have a face-to-face meeting before I signed a contract. This is to make sure your personalities get along and priorities match.

5. Sign the contract. Be sure to review it thoroughly so that you’re getting everything you agreed to. Know all the requirements and policies. (God forbid your vendor doesn’t deliver. You’ll need this contract to hold them accountable!)

Where will you get married?

This question is for the ceremony. You have a couple of options.

• Church – Most churches require you to be a member of the congregation or to give a donation to use their building for your ceremony.
• Venue – Most venues have space to host both the ceremony and reception. Some places like hotels may have a public courtyard if you want an outdoor space and don’t mind strangers watching.

Picking Your Venue + Questions to Ask Your Potential Venue

Picking the venue was our first task. We preferred North Austin to Dripping Springs, wanted an outdoor element, looked within our price range, and had a non-flexible date. These factors helped us narrow down our choices. We got proposals from nine venues and toured four venues that we thought might be a fit.

Walking the space helped our decision immensely. We were unsure about our first three venues, trying to like them more than we did, but when we walked into our wedding venue, we knew almost immediately it was the one.

One thing to know about picking your venue is that what is offered is not always apples to apples. Some may have their own catering in-house, others may need lots of décor to fit your style. Some may include basic tables and chairs in the price while others require you to rent them. Be sure to find out what is all included in their package and compare it with your budget and needs. For example, our venue required a full-service catering company, a security officer, and a day-of planner, which were unique costs we needed to include in our budget.

Here are some questions you should consider for your venue:

• Is your preferred date available? Is your date flexible?
• What is the maximum capacity of the venue? (Will this fit your guest count?)
• What does the venue rate include? (i.e. tables, chairs, linens?)
• How many hours are included in the rate? How much do additional hours cost?
• Are there required venue vendors or can outside vendors be hired?
• Do you require hiring a wedding coordinator or security officer?
• Do you have bride/groom rooms to get ready in?
• Are a final walk-through and an hour rehearsal included in the price? What is your policy/availability for scheduling these?
• What’s the rain plan and is that included in the price?
• Are there separate spaces for the ceremony and reception or will the room be flipped (changed from ceremony seating to reception/dinner seating)? Is there a fee for the venue staff to flip the room?
• What is the alcohol policy? Can I bring in my own alcohol?
• What are the parking options? Are valet options included?
• Will there be room for a DJ or band?
• What type of décor is allowed?
• Are sparklers allowed?
• What is required for clean-up at the end of the night?

Should I Have My Wedding at a Hotel?

We toured one hotel and ultimately decided the environment wasn’t for us. However, hotel weddings have a lot of benefits, especially the convenience for your guests to stay where the reception is located. Hotels typically waive the cost of the event space if you meet a food and beverage minimum, meaning your catering and bar needs are taken care of. They may also include a complimentary wedding night stay and other perks.

One con of having your wedding at a hotel is the room might need additional décor to mask the conference room look. Another is if the hotel has an outdoor space, like a courtyard, for your ceremony, it may be a public space, which means other hotel guests have access to it. They will surely not crash your wedding, but you might not like hotel guests watching your ceremony from their hotel room balcony.

We only had one hotel’s pricing to compare our final pricing to, so take this advice with consideration. Adding the venue, food, and bar costs, having our wedding at a hotel would have been about $3,000 cheaper. But if we did have our wedding at a hotel, we may have needed to pay for additional up-lighting around the room and bigger centerpieces to get the intimate feeling of the venue we picked.

Again, the factors are not always directly comparable, so know what you want, price it all out, and walk the space before you decide on your venue. Try to envision your wedding day there and you’ll know if it’s the right decision or not.

Choosing a Caterer

Here are some questions you should consider and discuss with a potential caterer:

• Do you want a cocktail hour? How many appetizers do you want to offer?
• What type of meal do you want: buffet vs plated, number of entrée options?
• Do you have any guests with food allergies? What options do you have for gluten-free, vegetarian, vegan, and nut-free guests?
• Are there kids meal options? (These are usually more kid-friendly foods and possibly cheaper.)
• What type of bar packages do you have – open bar, beer and wine, or cash bar?
• Do you staff the bar or do I need to hire a bartending company?
• Is alcohol included in the price or do I need to buy alcohol?
• What types of plates, silverware, and linens are included? How much are upgrades i.e. if you want to match linens with your colors?
• How many vendor meals are included? (your vendors typically have this requirement in the contract)
• Can you provide a water station before the ceremony and throughout the night?
• When is the final guest count due?

Some notes:

• Know your guest list and what they typically drink. This will help you decide how much you need and what type of bar set-up to have.
• A caterer with a bar or a hired bartender should be able to give you a recommendation of how much alcohol you need.

Picking Your Photographer and Videographer

The big thing to research for your photographer and videographer is their style. Do you like their past work? Do they get the important shots you’ll want? The day goes by quickly, so you want vendors who will give you these photos and video to remember it all by. They need to be able to get the shots!

This is one vendor I thought was important to meet with before I signed a contract. It was also very helpful that we had an engagement shoot with our photographer about five months before our wedding, so we got to know her and her style and got comfortable with her. Plus, we used those engagement photos for our save-the-date and wedding decor.

Photographers and videographers either have a second shooter as part of the package or you can pay an additional fee for one. You may want a second shooter if your wedding has 150+ guests or if you want specific shots. Ask your photographer for his/her opinion.

Here are some things to review for your photographer and videographer:

• How many hours are included in the package?
• Does the package include a second shooter?
• Does the package include a physical album?
• How many photos or videos will be delivered?
• How will the photos/videos be delivered?
• How long after the wedding will the photos/videos be delivered?

Picking Other Vendors

For me, choosing my other vendors was a faster process. These included the DJ, photo booth, cake, and florals. Here are some of the things I considered for these vendors:

• What’s included in your event package?
• How many hours does your fee include?
• Is there a delivery fee? (or can you save money by having family or friends pick-up?)
• What time will you arrive for set-up?
• Do you require a vendor meal?

One of the Worst Parts of Wedding Planning

RSVPs. It doesn’t matter if you send paper invitations or digital invitations. Your guests will forget to send back the pre-stamped envelope, they’ll lose your invitation, and they’ll forget to RSVP on time. If you do an online RSVP, they won’t know how to use it. You will inevitably be texting and calling guests days before your RSVP deadline. I’ve been on both sides now (as a guest not sending an RSVP in and a bride chasing RSVPs), and it’s inevitable, so prepare yourself for this stress! (We used Zola for online RSVPs.)

Related to the RSVPs, the last month and especially the last two weeks of wedding planning were rough. Thankfully, most things were planned months in advance, but there were things we hadn’t thought about and scrambled to do.

Quick Tips to Make Wedding Planning Easier

• The dress: There will be multiple dresses that could work. Pick your favorite and stop second-guessing it. Don’t try on too many or you’ll be very indecisive. No matter which dress you pick, you’ll look beautiful!

• Utilize free addressing on online invitation companies so you don’t have to write them all yourself. If your invitation company doesn’t have the printing option (or if you don’t want to pay extra), buy a return address stamp. You can use this in the future too.

• Involve your groom! Give him specific tasks to help you.

• Make a list of formal photos you want at your wedding with exact names for your photographer. He/she can call out the names for people to gather. Also ask your photographer how he/she manages this.

• Think early on and gather your songs for crucial moments. Your DJ will ask for this list. Don’t forget moments like walking into the reception.

• Schedule your pre-marital counseling months in advance. Packages are typically four or eight weeks long or there are weekend workshop options.

• Don’t forget your marriage license. In Texas, you need to get it at least 72 hours in advance. Both people need to be present at the county clerk’s office. In Austin, it was about $80, though they will give you a discount for completing certain pre-marital counseling programs.

• Sit at a sweetheart table so that you get some alone time and time to eat.

• Try not to plan your bachelor/bachelorette party the weekend before your wedding. You might need time to recover and one more weekend to prepare for the wedding.

• Don’t leave to-dos until the week of the wedding. Even the “small” tasks and quick errands can seem daunting on top of all the feelings.

• Relax and find ways to de-stress the week of the wedding. Even if you don’t have much to do, consider taking more time off from work to relax. A workout and/or massage are great ideas. Meal plan ahead of time, so you’re not picking up junk food every night.

Conclusion

Wow, that was a LOT of information. I recommend saving this post and coming back to it for reference. Have more questions? See this post about frequently asked wedding questions. If there’s anything else you’re wondering about, feel free to send me a message or leave a comment below!

P.S. If you want to know more about our wedding and vendors, check out this post. See all my wedding posts here.

All photos are by April Mae Creative!

The adventures continue on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Bloglovin’. You can also subscribe to the exclusive email list.

The post The Big Wedding Planning Guide appeared first on Fearless Captivations.

The answer to all of these questions is WHATEVER YOU WANT. We’re in a time where traditions are thrown out the window and new ideas are being accepted. There have also been so many additional “traditions” these days, it might seem like you have to do them. As the bride and groom, you get the final answer, first dibs, preferential treatment, etc. We all have different preferences. Do what you think is right and best for you as a couple.

These are some of the questions I wondered throughout my wedding planning. Here are 35 questions and answers to help make sure this season is sweet!

WEDDING EVENTS

Do I need to have an engagement party?
No. This is an extra opportunity to celebrate and some friends or family might want to throw one for you.

Do I need to have a bridal shower/couples shower?
This shower is another opportunity to celebrate and to get gifts. It’s not necessary but sometimes family and friends want to throw one for you.

Do I need to have a bachelorette or bachelor party?
This event is to celebrate the big change coming to your life. It’s a great excuse to get together with your closest friends and do your favorite things. It can be as simple as a dinner or as extravagant as a weekend trip away. If you’re planning an Austin bachelorette party, see this huge guide. (I really enjoyed my weekend away with the girls! See it here.)

Who plans the bachelorette or bachelor party?
Typically your maid/matron of honor and best man lead the charge with help from the rest of the bridesmaids/groomsmen. Your other guests might be asked to pitch in. You could give your planners a list of preferences and have them schedule and book everything or some brides/grooms plan the whole shindig themselves. It depends on how much of a planner you are.

Do I need a rehearsal?
A rehearsal is a run-through so that everyone knows what to do during the ceremony, like where and when to walk in. This includes the bridesmaids, groomsmen, the father of the bride (or whoever is walking the bride down the aisle), and the officiant. The wedding planner typically leads the rehearsal, which can take about an hour. Many do this the night before the wedding day but you can also go through it a few hours before the wedding, typically separately so that the bride and groom don’t see each other.

Who pays for a rehearsal dinner?
Tradition says the groom’s family pays for the rehearsal dinner. This event is typically the day before your wedding day and after the rehearsal at your venue.

Who is invited to the rehearsal dinner?
Immediate family, bridesmaids and their dates, groomsmen and their dates.

What is a first look?
While the tradition is the bride and groom don’t see each other until the bride is walking down the aisle, some prefer a first look. This is scheduled after each has gotten into their wedding attire. It’s great to calm nerves and take a moment with each other before the ceremony. It also gives you more time to take pictures so you can spend more time with guests after the ceremony.

What is a first touch?
Similar to a first look, the bride and groom will spend time with each other before the ceremony. They don’t see each other but will hold hands, usually separated by a door or corner, and have a quick chat.

Who walks the bride down the aisle?
Traditionally, it is the bride’s father, but it can be anyone the bride wants, from a father figure to both father and mother.

WEDDING PLANNING

When do I need to send my save-the-dates?
Save-the-dates are typically sent six months before the wedding.

When do I need to send my wedding invitations?
Wedding invitations are typically sent three months before the wedding.

Do I need to send my save-the-date and invitation through the mail?
While snail mail is traditional, printed items and postage add up. Traditional paper invitations include a pre-stamped return address envelope for the RSVP. There are many websites that provide easy digital invitations and RSVPs to help decrease your costs. No matter what you do, you’ll likely be chasing RSVPs at the last minute. (I used Zola for our website, RSVPs, and more, and it was so helpful!)

Do I need wedding programs?
If you’re having a long ceremony, a program might be nice for guests to follow along. You could also opt for a sign on the welcome table with the program. The program is also for guests to know the wedding party.

Who should I ask to be in my wedding party?
Who are your best friends? Who has had a big impact on your life? Who has supported your relationship throughout its existence? Who do you see yourself spending time with in 10 years? Who can be helpful in your wedding planning?

What do the maid of honor and best man do?
At the least, they help keep you calm and they’re your right-hand person on your wedding day. They also help plan pre-wedding events like a bachelor or bachelorette party, if you choose to have one.

Do I need to have a flower girl and/or ring bearer?
No, but if you do, you’ll need to think about covering the costs for their attire and buying the items they’ll use during the ceremony (pillow or sign for ring bearer? basket and flower petals for the flower girl?). These roles are typically filled when there are important kids in your life. If you opt-out of this, have your maid of honor and/or best man hold your rings.

Who should I invite to my wedding?
Decide on a guest list count and stick to it! It’s easy to add people here and there and get out of your budget. Also, include kids into your guest count. Similar to picking your wedding party, invite people who have a meaningful relationship with you and/or you as a couple.

Should I include kids at my wedding?
You’ll need to count kids in your guest count for food and a space at the table. Caterers usually have a separate kids count or if you are very accommodating, you can get a separate kids menu. On the other hand, your guests might want to have your wedding as a “parents’ night out” and decide to hire a sitter instead. This is especially true if it’s not an out-of-town wedding for them.

Do I need a wedding theme?
It depends on where you’re getting married and your interests. Some couples pick certain colors. If you’re getting married in a remodeled barn, you might want rustic décor to match. Big fans of Star Wars (or whatever your interest) might have elements throughout their weddings like songs and costumes.

What types of traditions should I add to my wedding day?
Ask your family for input. My Chinese family added plenty of traditions to my wedding day.

Do I need a seating chart?
Seating charts save guests from awkwardness and is necessary if you have an exact number of tables and seats. It can be a pain, but your venue should be able to provide space maps to help you.

What is a venue walk-through?
We did a venue walk-through with our wedding coordinator and the venue manager about a month before our wedding. We went through the wedding day and talked through different details and set-ups. This is a great time to add last-minute tasks (like additional decor) on your schedule. This walk-through is especially helpful for you and your wedding coordinator to be on the same page, so that your day is stress-free.

What tools can I use to make wedding planning easier?
I relied heavily on my Wedding Wire and Zola accounts. See all the details about my must-haves here. I also highly recommend a day-of coordinator if you are a planner and a wedding planner if you are not a planner.

ATTIRE

Who should I take with me when I go dress shopping?
It’s much more fun if you have at least one person with you when you go dress shopping. You may want to schedule a day/time where your mom, sisters, and/or bridesmaids are available. It can be an overwhelming process but it can also be a lot of fun playing dress-up.

Do I need alterations and what do I need to bring to my alteration fitting?
Yes, you’ll need alterations to make sure your dress fits perfectly. You may need fewer alterations if your dress is custom made but alterations will make sure you’re not stepping on your dress or constantly adjusting it on your wedding day. My dress was a close fit but they took in the waist a bit and shortened the shoulder straps. Since it wasn’t a custom dress, the hem was very long, plus it had many layers and needed eight bustles! You’ll need a bustle if you want the train during the ceremony but need it shorter for the reception.

At your fitting, bring shoes and undergarments you’ll wear. They will tailor your dress around these items. Choose comfortable shoes early! You’ll likely have at least two fitting appointments – one to determine alterations and one to ensure your alterations are perfect. After final alterations, the shop typically steams your dress for you so that it’s good to go.

What are the most comfortable wedding shoes?
Flats! Try to have shoes in mind before getting your dress and definitely have them when you do alterations. If you want to be taller and comfortable, wear wedges. I wore this pair from Nine West.

Do I need to wear a veil and garter?
No. Wear a veil if you prefer how it looks with your dress. You are likely only going to wear it during the ceremony. Having a veil also gives you the option of artsy veil photos. Instead of a veil, you could have some hair accessories. A garter is needed if you will be doing a bouquet and garter toss, and you can put it on right before that happens.

Do I need multiple white outfits?
No. If you don’t wear white, I’m sure everyone will still remember you’re the bride. I didn’t use it myself, but I like Rent the Runway’s selection of white dresses.

MISCELLANEOUS

What should I gift my bridesmaids/groomsmen?
Some ideas include wedding attire, hair, and makeup, travel costs, robes, jewelry, a bottle of wine, or other edible treats. You don’t have to get everyone the same thing or do it in the same way. Customize it to the person. What would be most meaningful for that person? Be mindful of your budget.

Should I go to pre-marital counseling?
Going to counseling with your future spouse is a recommended step before marriage. Research this months in advance! Counseling will help you work through unforeseeable issues and help form or continue the habit of open communication. Churches typically require this before you use their church as your venue and many churches also offer free or low-cost classes or workshops. The SYMBIS and PREPARE/ENRICH assessments are popular tools for pre-marital couples and you can find certified facilitator/therapists on their website. While pre-marital counseling can be costly (my research in Austin found $140-175 for a 50-minute session), you may get a discount on your marriage license and your health insurance may cover it. Some counselors offer a four or eight-time package. If you’re in Texas, see the TwogetherinTexas website for more info.

What should I do if my mom/uncle/family member wants/thinks XYZ?
What is their request and is it reasonable? How much does their opinion matter in the grand scheme of things? Who is getting married? (It’s you, not them.) While people who contribute financially to your wedding may be given a say, ultimately, do what makes you and your fiancé happy. That should be all that matters on your wedding day. Everyone will have opinions and you can’t please everyone. Do your best, but don’t let their opinions stress you out or make you disappointed.

Where should I go for my honeymoon?
Research places that are good for your time of year. It might be best to pick a resort that’s easy to get to (short flight) so you can relax after the wedding. Pick a place both you and your soon-to-be husband/wife will enjoy. You don’t have to go on your honeymoon right after your wedding. Some wait a few months after the wedding stress subsides.

What are those things the bride has to have on her wedding day?
Old, new, borrowed, blue. It’s a tradition that symbolizes good luck. I had “old” underwear, a new dress, borrowed earrings, and blue toenails.

How do I pay for this wedding?
Start saving! Don’t expect to “make back” what you spend on your wedding and don’t think of it this way! On average, guests spend $75-150 on a gift and sometimes that’s per couple. Plan your wedding further out in time so you have more time to save. Parents or family members may offer to help with costs. Look for ways to save.

Wow, planning a wedding is a lot. Should I elope instead?
When it comes down to it, it’s about the couple. If planning a wedding is too much, maybe you should consider eloping and celebrating with friends and family in a more low-key way. For eloping in Austin, check out this website.

Have more questions or want to share additional advice? Leave a comment below!

P.S. You can see all my wedding posts here!

You can find me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Bloglovin’. Also, subscribe to the exclusive email list.

The post Wedding FAQ: All the Wedding-Related Things You’re Wondering appeared first on Fearless Captivations.

It was the best day. People typically say that about their wedding day but I didn’t fully understand it until it was our day.

This post is a little peek into our wedding day!

My day started with an early morning spin class with some loving friends who I suckered into joining me and ended laughing with friends by the hotel pool. In between were lots of nerves, excitement, joy, gratitude, and love. It was awkward and anxiety-inducing to be the center of attention and hope everyone had a good time, but all the planning and details came together and we had so much fun! I think the workout helped and after the ceremony, it was easier to let any anxiety go and enjoy as much as possible. Plus va-va-voom, look at that groom! <3

I was trying to think of my favorite moment, but it’s hard to name only one. Here is a handful:

• Reading Will’s note to me before the ceremony
• Seeing so many people I love in one place and talking to as many of them as possible
• Watching my dad play the drum  
• All the quiet moments between me and Will (thanks to our wedding coordinator and photographer)
• My matron of honor’s beautiful speech
• Hearing “welcome to the family (officially)” from Will’s family
• The dance floor!
• Our final twinkle light dance

From the moment we walked into The Union on Eighth in Georgetown, we knew it was the place for our wedding. I love that it was big enough to fit all our guests yet felt intimate. The industrial-chic aesthetic required little decor and the setting enhanced our photos. I love that blue door!

The details! I gave flower preferences to our florist but I was/am so in love with how the bouquets and centerpieces turned out! They included my choices of ranunculus and garden and spray roses, then wowed me with the coordinating flowers and greenery.

I also love the coordinating flowers and the topper on our beautiful, simplistic cake from Polkadots Bakery. The cake might look classic from the outside but inside was strawberries and cream!

I’ve been told our ceremony was nine minutes long! Haha, whoops! We gave Will’s dad, our officiant, a script. It might have been short, but it said all the meaningful things we wanted to include. Plus, it meant less time sitting in the heat and on to cocktail hour.

The traditional Chinese elements were so special! I went into detail here in this post. We were so lucky and excited to share these with our friends and family.

This was our wedding day menu:

• Salad with Mixed Greens, Seasonal Berries, Red Onion, Feta, Candied Nuts, Tomatoes, Cucumber & Balsamic Vinaigrette
• Roast Chicken with Herb Butter Sauce, Toasted Pecans, and Sun-dried Tomatoes
• Espresso Chili Crusted Brisket
• Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Shittake Roasted Garlic Confit
• Brown Butter Sweet Potatoes
• Strawberry and Cream Cake
• Texas Pecan Pie
• Bourbon Cherry Pie
• Chocolate Pie

I tried on five dresses at two stores before deciding on my dress. I didn’t think too hard or long on the purchase, but I loved wearing it. It felt perfectly me. I loved the side panel and how the dress flowed while dancing.

I want to give a big THANK YOU to our wedding coordinator, Alanna of Simply Sweet Weddings. Alanna ran the show and made sure Will and I had the best day possible. From setting up the venue to making sure the venue was clean after the last guest left, she was on point taking care of any issues that came up. I know because I didn’t hear about them! Our day would not have been manageable without her.

If you’ve loved all of these photos as I have, it’s all thanks to our photographer April Mae Creative. We first got to know April during our engagement shoot and we were thankful to have her a part of our wedding day! She made our day extra fun and took many special, natural photos that we will cherish forever.

Wedding Playlist

I didn’t know we had to pick so many specific songs until we filled out the list for our DJ! I was excited to hear them on our wedding day. Here are some of the songs I particularly loved and some notes.

• Processional Song: “Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Kina Grannis
  • I’ve always loved this song and loved it even more after this cover was played in the wedding scene of the movie “Crazy Rich Asians.”
• Recessional Song: “You’ve Got the Love” by Florence + The Machine
  • This song is just so fun!
• First Dance: “Forever You and Me” by The Teskey Brothers
  • Will found this song and it is simple, sweet, and the perfect promise.
• Father/Daughter Dance: “Stand By Me” by Anita Mui
  • My dad and I had trouble picking a song and tentatively picked the original version of “Stand By Me” by Ben E. King. As we were browsing possibilities, this song came along and it seemed perfect. I like that it was in Cantonese and it’s sung by my namesake!
• Last Dance: “I Choose You” by Sara Bareilles
  • After our final dance floor song, everyone went to get ready for the sparkler exit and Will and I danced to this under twinkle lights. I love this song already, but it meant much more to dance to it before we called it a night.

Thank you to all our vendors!

• Venue: The Union on Eighth
• Catering/Bar: Vanilla Orchid Catering
• Cake: Polkadots Bakery
• Florals: Central Market 
• Photography: April Mae Creative
• Photo Booth: Austin’s Best DJs 
• Ceremony and Reception Music: Austin’s Best DJs
• Bridal Dress: David’s Bridal
• Bridesmaid Dresses: Azazie
• Groom and Groomsmen Suits: The Black Tux
• Hair and Makeup: Flair Austin Beauty 
• Day-of Coordinator: Simply Sweet Weddings

“Tell the world that we finally got it all right. I choose you. I will become yours and you will become mine. I choose you.” – Sara Bareilles

What’s your favorite wedding song to dance to?

Want to see more about our wedding? Check out these blog posts:

• My 3 Must-Haves for Wedding Planning
• Chinese Wedding Traditions at Our Wedding
• Wedding FAQ: All the Wedding-Related Things You’re Wondering
• The Big Wedding Planning Guide
• Everything You Need to Know About a Wedding Budget + Ways to Save
• Our Custom Wedding Thank You Cards
• Why I Stopped Caring About Our Wedding
• Is a Wedding Cash Fund for Gifts Tacky?
• We’re Getting Married! Our Story + The Proposal

Let’s take this adventure on the go. You can find me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Bloglovin’. You can also subscribe to the exclusive email list.

The post Our Wedding Day appeared first on Fearless Captivations.

When I first started wedding planning, I thought about incorporating Chinese traditions into our wedding day but it wasn’t a must-have. My parents didn’t seem to care either. I looked into a few wedding invitation options and traditional dress but they both either didn’t fit with what we wanted or it seemed like an added cost for something I didn’t feel strongly about.

Fast forward to about three months before the wedding and my parents begin to have a lot of thoughts and preferences. Luckily, most of them could be fit into our schedule and they helped arrange all the details for these elements.

Looking back now, I’m glad I got to have these Chinese traditions at our wedding to be able to honor my side of the family and share them with our guests! If you’re thinking about incorporating Chinese traditions into your wedding, here are some of the typical things to include.

Double Happiness

The double happiness is a typical symbol that is displayed on everything from wedding invitations to party favors. Traditionally, it’s accompanied by bright red color, the lucky color. If you’re wanting to subtly include Chinese traditions, adding the symbol to your invitation, as your cake topper, and wedding programs are an easy way to do it. Our double happiness was featured on the teapot for our tea ceremony and on red envelopes.

10-Course Meal

A traditional Chinese wedding banquet includes a 10-course meal with the roasted pig, lobster, scallops, chicken, duck, noodles, abalone, sea cucumber, and fish. Each ingredient has a different meaning and symbolizes things like abundance, longevity, prosperity, and fertility. This family-style meal is why many choose to have their reception at a Chinese banquet hall. Will and I honored our Texas roots with a menu of brisket and potatoes at our reception, but we did enjoy a multi-course Chinese dinner for our rehearsal dinner! It included our favorite dishes like snow pea leaves, roasted duck, whole steamed fish, and lobster noodles.

Roasted Whole Pig

Traditionally, a roasted whole pig was given to the bride’s family as part of the dowry, but now, it’s a dish that is typically a part of the menu. The pig is usually the first course of the 10-courses. My parents wanted the pig prepared in a certain way and since we were a little late in deciding to include it, ours was simply decoration until my family took it home and enjoyed it.

Red Envelopes

Gifting cash is typical in Chinese culture. Couples usually don’t have a registry because it might seem inappropriate to ask for gifts. Red envelopes (“lai see” in Cantonese) are also used for Chinese New Year, so make sure your Chinese characters don’t say Happy New Year! If you’re not sure, a plain red envelope will work. Don’t put an amount with the number four in it because it’s considered bad luck; the Chinese word for four sounds like the word for death. The number eight is the luckiest number and the amount should be an even number. Lastly, be sure to write a note with your name on the envelope so the bride and groom know who it’s from.

Tea Ceremony

The tea ceremony is a tradition where the bride and groom kneel and serve tea to their elder family members (parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles) as a gesture of respect and gratitude. We offered a cup of tea with both hands to the elder in front of us and said “yum cha,” literally meaning “drink tea” in Cantonese. After the elder takes a sip, they gift the couple with a red envelope or jewelry while offering best wishes.

We did this after our ceremony and photos and before our reception. It was semi-private because most of our guests were outside for cocktail hour, but it was open for anyone to observe. While Will and I had no clue what we were supposed to do, our family friend took the lead in preparing the teapot and cups (they must be red) and telling us what to do.

Lion Dance

The lion dance is a blessing that brings good luck and fortune for a long and happy marriage. The dance includes live, loud drumming and cymbals, thought to help drive away evil marriage-destroying spirits. We didn’t tell many guests this was happening, so we were excited to have them experience it! The lion dance kicked off our reception as we and our wedding party walked in and performed for about 10-15 minutes.

We are lucky to have a family friend from Dallas that has taught and organized lion dances for years. In fact, my dad was a part of their team about 20 years ago. It was the sweetest gesture that he practiced with them for a few weeks to get his groove back to perform at our wedding, and he was awesome!

Conclusion

While I wasn’t adamant about including traditions from my culture in our wedding day, I’m so glad we did! It was special to involve my family in our day.

In case you want some more ideas, here are some additional Chinese wedding traditions:

• Picking a lucky date based on the Chinese calendar
• Hair combing ceremony for the bride
• Door games/tests for the groom given by the bride’s family to show he’s worthy or nowadays, it’s for fun
• Brides having two to three outfit changes throughout the day. This usually includes a qipao, the traditional red dress.

Have you ever been to a Chinese or Asian wedding? Any stories to share?

Photos by April Mae Creative

P.S. See more posts about our wedding here!

Let’s connect on social! You can find me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Bloglovin’. You can also subscribe to the exclusive email list.

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Wedding planning can be stressful, especially if you’re doing a lot of it yourself. I kept a lot of digital lists and used a physical wedding planner, but I’m not sure my wedding would have been as organized without these three must-have resources below.

1. Wedding Wire Account

One of the first things I did after I got engaged was get a Wedding Wire account. They have a few tools that I loved using.

• Wedding Checklist: The checklist keeps you on track by month.
• Vendor Manager: I also got an account to research vendor options in Austin, especially venues and caterers. You can easily mark who you are considering, make notes about each vendor, and then add them to your vendor list after you booked.
• Budget Manager: This tool I discovered later and then I couldn’t live without it. It helped me keep track of our budget, estimated and actual.

Wedding Wire also has tools for keeping a guest list, creating a registry, making a seating chart, and creating a wedding website.

2. Zola Account

I initially got a Zola account because they had the lowest fees for a cash fund registry (2.5%), but I quickly discovered they had many other benefits all in one place.

• Registry: Since we did not need many household items, we were planning on the majority of our registry to be a cash fund for our honeymoon, future date nights, and home repairs. In addition to the cash fund, they have tons of products you can easily add to your registry. They provide free shipping and returns. You can choose when your gifts are shipped to you so that they’re not sitting on your doorstep while you’re on your honeymoon. Plus, when your guest buys a gift but you’ve changed your mind about it, you can exchange it for another gift before it ships. If there are gifts left in your registry after your wedding, you get 20% off when you buy them.
• Wedding Website: A wedding website is useful to give more information to guests and Zola offers easy templates to create them. The registry is cohesively included as one of your website pages. I liked their website options and design better than Wedding Wire.
• RSVPs: I love this feature because it helped me keep track of RSVPs all in one place. I sent a specific Zola link to collect email addresses for our save-the-dates and physical addresses for our printed invitations. We included our website URL instead of RSVP cards in our invitation, so when guests came to our website, they could easily RSVP.

3. Wedding Day-Of Coordinator

I planned all of our wedding, so I knew the details in and out. But I knew I did not want to have to stress over any detail on my wedding day and I didn’t want to put this stress on any of my wedding guests. Being able to hand over all the plans, the timeline, and the vendor list to my day-of coordinator was a relief. Looking back on our wedding day, I don’t know how I could have got through the day without our day-of coordinator. I recommend Alanna with Simply Sweet Weddings!

Before the wedding day, we had several meetings to go over details and she was in contact with vendors for final details about two months before the day. In addition to guiding our rehearsal and coordinating all the vendors upon arrival, she kept track of time to make sure everything was on schedule and helped with set-up and break-down.

If you need extra help in planning your wedding, you could get a full-on wedding planner or a month-of coordinator to help you out.

Conclusion

These things may seem simple, but they were a big help in keeping me organized and sane.

See all my wedding posts here.

You can find me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Bloglovin’. You can also subscribe to the exclusive email list.

The post My 3 Must-Haves for Wedding Planning appeared first on Fearless Captivations.

My favorite girls and I recently celebrated my bachelorette party weekend in San Antonio! After thinking about the cost, vacation time, etc, it made sense to stay somewhat local. San Antonio was the perfect spot for activities, food, and distance (about 1.5 hours from Austin).

While I had a little bit of stress not knowing the final details of the trip, it was also fun being surprised by the activities! Also, my friend Rochelle planned the perfect party. Read on for details of my bachelorette weekend.

Bachelorette Party Weekend

We took advantage of Labor Day Weekend for a longer trip. Our weekend started Saturday with everyone meeting at Bottling Department Food Hall for lunch. In addition to a bar, this food hall in the Pearl Brewery had plenty of options to choose from, including burgers, sandwiches, ramen, and more.

After fueling up on caffeine, our next stop was a glassblowing class! I had never done this before but had always wanted to try. It was one of my favorite things about the weekend. We got to pick our colors and go through the process one by one (about 15 minutes each) of creating a friendship globe. We could choose to make our orb into an ornament or with a base. Glenn and Ruth of Caliente Hot Glass were excellent! Since glass needs time to cool slowly, we picked up our balls at the end of the weekend. This was a really fun activity, and I would definitely try it again! Plus, we each got a pretty memento.

After the class, we went to our Airbnb house in Tobin Hill to get ready for dinner. (There are lots of cute, spacious houses to rent in San Antonio!) The house was close to all our outings, no more than 10 minutes away. Divided into two sides, the house could fit 5 people on each side with everyone having their own bed. My only complaint is I wish it was one big house so we could all be together, though it was easy to pop next door. 

My friend Rochelle, master planner and cook, made us a yummy Tex-Mex dinner of a nacho bar and enchiladas. We fueled up before going out to St. Mary’s Strip, a happening entertainment area, for drinks and dancing. We all wore red, pink, or orange.

The next morning, Rochelle was back at it again with breakfast. After breakfast, we each went off on our separate errands or naps, with a group of us picking up pastries from La Panaderia. This restaurant is known for its pastries and brunch and was busy! 

Back at the house, we made tie-dyed shirts, an idea we came up with the night before. Our house had a spacious backyard that was perfect for getting crafty.

For dinner, we went closer to downtown to eat at Toro Kitchen + Bar. This Spanish restaurant is known for its paella and tapas. We ordered plenty of small plates to share. This was a small view of our table and the many plates we had!

After dinner, we stopped by the oldest bar on the San Antonio Riverwalk, The Esquire Tavern. It’s also the home of the longest wooden bar top in Texas! The drinks were great and we were mesmerized by the quality of the ice cubes!

We made a quick walk on the Riverwalk to Howl at the Moon, a piano bar. If you’ve never been to a piano bar, I recommend it. They take requests and play lots of hits. I’m always impressed by the musicians’ vast repertoire and talent. If you’re like us, you’ll do a lot of sing-yelling, and if you’re a bachelorette, they might make you get on stage to shake a tambourine. It was a fun night!

The next morning, decked out in our fresh tie-dyed shirts, we went on the hunt for brunch. We went through a couple of options because of holiday closures and crowds before we made it to La Villita Cafe. Plenty of breakfast tacos here!

After brunch, we picked up our friendship globes, and just like that, our weekend was over. We had so much fun getting crafty, staying up late, and laughing a lot!

Other San Antonio Bachelorette Ideas

If you’re planning a San Antonio bachelorette party, here are more recommendations you should consider.

For Drinks:

• Rumble
• Paramour Rooftop Bar
• Dorcol Distilling + Brewing
• Still Golden Social House

For Dancing: 

• Brass Monkey
• Bonham Exchange
• Babios Night Club
• Wax Club
• Industry
• Midnight Rodeo

Also, check out my San Antonio guide for more ideas. People might not think to visit this historic city, but with all its hidden gems, it’s a city with plenty to do for a weekend getaway.

It was so special to have a long weekend away with some of my girls! With kids and other responsibilities, it’s hard to make time for friends, so I’m grateful for this time away to celebrate. This trip and our wedding/marriage conversations on the trip definitely reminded me that a big life change is on the way! I can’t wait to bring all these faces together again in a few weeks!

Have you had or been to a bachelorette party? What was your favorite activity?

P.S. The top photo is from the Amurica TX photo booth. It was parked outside of a bar on St Mary’s.

You can find me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Bloglovin’. You can also subscribe to the exclusive email list.

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Ok, I didn’t stop caring completely about our wedding. I am still very excited! Ask everyone and they’ll tell you I’ve been a pretty laid-back bride. Most things have been checked off the to-do list, but I’m not stressing out about perfection or having my wedding day exactly a certain way (yet, anyway). If you know me, I’m type A about a lot of things, but when it comes to our wedding, I have this strange acceptance, patience, and calm about how things will go. I think it’s because of the following reasons.

Because it’s one day, about 10 hours.

(48 hours if we’re counting all the festivities and family time.) We’ll spend about six hours with our guests and about four hours getting ready. What I’ve heard is it will happen in a blink of an eye. And then we’ll be sitting in our hotel room exhausted and happy and asking if that really happened because it went by so quickly.

Because it matters the most to us.

People will forget what they ate at our wedding and the color of the bridesmaids’ dresses. They’ll never know how many hours we’ve spent planning the wedding and all the options we talked through. We know every little detail of our special day because it’s ours. All our guests will have are their photo booth photos, a thank you card, and memories to remember it by, and that’s all they’ll want. It matters to them, but as the guests of honor, it means much more to us.

Because it costs more than we want to spend.

What do we want to spend thousands of dollars on? A vacation. Weddings cost money, and we’ve accepted that we’re throwing an expensive, once-in-a-lifetime party.

Because I’m more excited about celebrating with my people.

My people! This wedding is for you. Truly. If we had thought about it for a while longer, we might have eloped on a trip. BUT the next best thing is celebrating with the people who help make us who we are, who we care about, and who will challenge and support us in our marriage. I can’t wait to smile at you all day, to eat cake with you, and to tear up the dance floor with you.

Because I’m more nervous about what comes after the wedding day.

I want our marriage to be more important and more beautiful than our wedding. We’re both flawed people that are ever-evolving. We’re committing to help each other be the best we can be while also committing to grow our relationship. That is no small task! We’ll have arguments and miscommunication. We’ll fight through the mundane day-to-day, keeping the fire alive, and various levels of expectations. But we’ll also have the opportunity to keep choosing each other, even with the messiness that life gives us and the messiness we create. Our marriage won’t be perfect, but it will be sacred and meaningful.

Because I’m more excited about my future with my husband.

We’re excellent people on our own and we’re even better together. I’m gaining a partner in life, someone who I can count on, who I can laugh with, and who also loves food and adventures.

What do you think?

We’ve been together for a few years but marriage seems like a whole other thing, right? It’s exciting and scary, but I think we’ve got the right mindset and tools to make this work.

You can read all my wedding posts here!

You can find me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Bloglovin’. You can also subscribe to the exclusive email list.

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